thetwinsenvironmentaltraining

The Tw↑ns: Env↑ronMENTAL Training Coronavirus Boredom Special: A Welcome Introduction to Tedium par Excellence!

Posted on May 13, 2020 by thetwinsenvironmentaltraining

Dear Frustrated Businessman,

We’re surprised that your cousin supplied you with our contact details. Perhaps in this period of lockdown, social distancing and self-isolation, we should not be expressing such an emotion. But we are. Why?

Well, we cannot believe – though we should believe because we have lying on our desk a page of your words addressed to us with your signature attached – stating that you are serious about enrolling on one of our most gruelling workshops. Your cousin dropped out of a taster weekend last June and we never heard from him again. His reason for departing after 20 minutes from what was a 19 hour programme spread over an evening and two days was because he felt he would go insane if he didn’t quit whilst he still possessed his marbles. His final words on EnvironMENTAL Training™ was a single line in an email: Warning! Not only is Tedium par Excellence! unsafe, it’s also detrimental to your mental health.

If positions were reversed, wouldn’t you wonder – about their precious marbles – why a vociferous critic and detractor was suddenly recommending your service in the middle of a pandemic?

We find it peculiar, if not strange, that your cousin has nothing but praise for The Twins: EnvironMENTAL Training™, and advises you to shun all services and programmes but ours. You claim he swore to you that we are the best at what we provide, and that you would be a fool not to contact us immediately for help. Flattering as your cousin’s description of our service is, we think you ought to reconsider any decision made or to be made during this period, especially if it is financial. We’re not keen on accepting payments from people who harbour any dissatisfaction with what we provide. Criticism we can accept – as a right, a prerogative or even a privilege – but not if it’s based on the fact that he failed to qualify for a refund. It was his decision to leave after 60 minutes because he was dissatisfied with proceedings, forgetting that he arrived two hours late.

It’s evident from what he told you about our service that he’s forgotten that he told us that we were a couple of conmen running a successful racket preying on the gullibility of wealthy high net earners who desperately need help with their concentration.

We have no idea why the change of view of our service, we will simply state that if you really wish us to be your training consultants then please ensure you don’t have your cousin’s temperament. At our workshops before the lockdown we always encourage courteous behaviour when interacting with others; this includes attendees, trainers, catering and cleaning staff. Harmony makes a better workshop, irrespective of how challenging the tasks or exercises set may be. The current pandemic has not altered our policy in any way.

Lockdown has meant – like everyone else – that EnvironMENTAL Training has had to adapt to the changing landscape; that doesn’t mean we’ll adopt anything that is going be detrimental to what we do. We’re in a position where we can refuse to accept an individual if that person is deemed to be a potential troublemaker. Your social position, wealth, education or connections are of no importance (to us) if you think you can treat this service in the same way you treat your caddy or tailor.

To help newcomers who have expressed a desire to become clients, we decided that it’s important during this unprecedented period for them to have a thorough understanding of what we mean by boring, monotonous, dull, tiresome, uninteresting mental drills, games and exercises. The exercise below is your entry into the world of The Twins: EnvironMENTAL Training™. By entry we mean joining a family of contented individuals who appreciate the importance of training their minds with tedious material that most would steer well clear of.

The Coronavirus has meant that with millions having to remain indoors, only stepping out for reasons deemed essential by Her Majesty’s Government, many will be seeking new things to occupy their minds. We’re not interested in providing interesting diversions which can be used as a respite from arguments with spouse and family; disagreements with housemates about boundaries; rows with neighbours or members of the general public encountered on an essential trip to the supermarket; or whilst enduring trauma in the hour allocated for physical exercise.

Below in bold is the phrase, Tedium par Excllence! which sums up in three words what EnvironMENTAL Training™ is (all) about.

Further down is a simple exercise for you to accomplish. Do it successfully and we will happily accept you as a client.

Follow the instructions to the letter and do not deviate from the prescribed way of carrying out the task. We’re sure, like so many, that you have your own way of working: one that suits your personality. You may be a visual or audial person; work better in a team or alone; or you may have a preference for jigsaw puzzles not tangrams, or would rather play bridge than chess. However, if you’re to do EnvironMENTAL Training™ successfully, you have to be prepared to adapt to our way of doing things. Which is simply boring and means hours of repeating mindless mental activities with the only reward being that you master your mind and emotions.

Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

⚪️

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

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Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

⚪️

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

⚪️

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

⚪️

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

⚪️

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

⚪️

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

⚪️

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

⚪️

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

⚪️

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

IMPORTANT INSTRUCTIONS

Count every means exactly that: whether it’s a line, word or vowel, everything has to be counted.

Count slowly, silently, quietly or aloud; whichever feels comfortable.

If instructed to spell or read aloud, do exactly that.

Do not rush when counting, spelling or copying out.

When copying out, write your letters as neat as you can. Do not omit anything.

Tedium par Excellence! Exercise

Count every line.
Count every word.
Count every letter.
Count every punctuation mark.
Count ever vowel.
Count every consonant.
Count every one syllable word.
Count every two syllable word.
Count every three syllable word.
Count every ‘e’.
Count every ‘T’.
Count every ‘p’.
Count every ‘i’.
Count every ‘x’.
Count every ‘d’
Count every ‘m’.
Count every ‘E’.
Count every ‘r’.
Count every ‘c’.
Count every ‘l’
Count every ‘u’.
Count every ‘n’.
Count every ‘a’.
Count every upper case letter.
Count every lower case letter.
Count every three letter word.
Count every six letter word.
Count every ten letter word.
Count every vowel that is next to another vowel, e.g. ae or ie or ou.
Count every consonant that is next to vowel, e.g. ba or bi or bu .
Count every consonant that is next to another consonant, e.g. fg or jk or st. .

Spell every word forwards and aloud.
Spell every word backwards and aloud.
Spell out only the vowels of every word forwards and aloud.
Spell out only the vowels of every word backwards and aloud.
Spell out only the consonants of every word forwards and aloud.
Spell out only the consonants of every word forwards and aloud.

Copy out each line.
Copy out each word forwards.
Copy out each word backwards.
Copy out each punctuation mark.
Copy out each vowel.
Copy out each consonant.

Read aloud every letter.
Read aloud every second letter.
Read aloud every third letter.
Read aloud every fourth letter.
Read aloud every fifth letter.
Read aloud every sixth letter.
Read aloud every seventh letter.
Read aloud every eighth letter.
Read aloud every ninth letter.
Read aloud every tenth letter.
Read aloud every eleventh letter.
Read aloud every twelth letter.
Read aloud every thirteenth letter.

DO NOT ATTEMPT ANY PART of THE Tedium par Excellence! EXERCISE IF:

Tired
Sleepy
Hungry
Inebriated

Remember that EnvironMENTAL Training™ is for anyone, but not everyone; anyone can do it, but not everyone will.

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The Tw↑ns: Env↑ronMENTAL Training Coronavirus Boredom Special: Tedium par Excellence! Exercise (Part 1)

Posted on April 2, 2020 by thetwinsenvironmentaltraining

During these unprecedented times, with so much uncertainty in the air and on the airwaves, with many (minds: puzzled, confused, alarmed, frightened or scared) not really knowing or understanding the enormity of what’s going on in the true sense of WHAT IS GOING ON?, if during these times, without warning or announcing, your state of mind changes and you find yourself suddenly feeling or experiencing the nauseous effects associated with boredom: boredom because of…, boredom thanks to…., boredom no thanks to…., boredom as a result of…., boredom due to…., or simply boredom that has manifested for any number of reasons or factors (known and unknown), what on earth are you to do to rid yourself of that nauseous feeling of boredom before it gets a stronger hold on you? A strangle hold that’s far stronger, tighter and more vicious than anything you’ve ever experienced before?

We are talking of real boredom here not the lazy schoolchild or idle housewife variety, but the Real McCoy boredom.

A boredom to beat all boredoms.

A boredom which might be because you’re self-isolating.

A boredom no thanks to your wife’s daily marathon on the landline with her sister-in-law in Wolverhampton, which like this pandemic is showing no signs of being terminated soon.

A boredom due to the absence of Formula 1 and the PGA European Tour on Sky television, the Champions League on BT and Premier League football on BBC television;

A boredom due to your local town hall, theatre, public house, cinema, library, museum, gallery, church, synagogue, mosque, temple, post office, McDonald’s, KFC, Pret a Manger and other non-essentials being shut.

A boredom exasperated by being forced to repeatedly consume the culinary efforts of the missus (a double penance as she’s no cordon bleu and your favourite Michelin rated restaurant isn’t open to serve up your favourite dish).

A boredom that’s mutating into molten rage at being prohibited from staying anywhere except (at) your primary address (so weekend visits to that Scottish castle, the planned holiday at your co-owned farm – or vineyard? – somewhere in Europe, close to the borders of Spain and Italy, the annual lengthy visit to that exclusive Caribbean island – rumoured to attract Hollywood royalty – are all outlawed).

A boredom increasing with each passing day of lockdown (whose pernicious presence is costing your bouncy castle business untold losses, so you can’t understand why you don’t qualify for assistance whilst the private equity guy across the road appears to be in line for a hefty chunk of Government funding. Doesn’t Chancellor Sunak recognise the contribution of SMEs to the UK economy?).

A boredom solely as a result of your middle daughter, whose inane jabbering to friends on her WhatsApp group promises no end in sight.

A boredom of the non-stop news bulletins on the Coronavirus, Covid-19 and every respiratory attacking virus known to the World Health Organisation.

Whatever you may feel is responsible for your boredom, it is for you to change how you feel. You can search online for distractions dressed as relief or you can exercise willpower by using our monotonous mental drills, games and exercises to alter your state of mind. The choice is yours and yours alone to make. So which is it going to be?

Are you going to post a video of yourself on YouTube, TikTok, Instagram or Facebook showing you inside your wealthy mansion, surrounded by opulence of every description, yet still blubbering like a three year old, bored with its expensive toys, or weeping as if you just woke up to discover you’re the only living soul after a tsunami has just laid your entire town of almost two thousand (at the last census) citizens to waste? (We shan’t question how you happen to be still alive.) What are you going to do: weep, cry, wail, blubber, whine, complain, whinge, grumble, or will you man up and film yourself, patiently and systematically, carrying out step by step, the monotonous mental exercise delivered below?

Tedium par Excellence! Exercise (Part 1)

Tedium par Excellence!

Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par Excellence!

NB Whenever a letter is followed by an exclamation mark (!), both letter and punctuation mark should be written, e.g. e!

Observe the twenty-eight examples below, then using the ten lines of Tedium par Excellence! above, ensure that you, too, write out the first letter, first two letters, first three letters, first four letters, first five letters, etc., continuing all the way to the final letter plus exclamation mark (e!).

Using the ten lines of Tedium par Excellence! above:

1. Write down the first letter: ‘T’.

2. Write down the first two letters: ‘Te’.

3. Write down the first three letters: ‘Ted’.

4. Write down the first four letters: ‘Tedi’.

5. Write down the first five letters: ‘Tediu’.

6. Write down the first six letters: ‘Tedium’.

7. Write down the first seven letters: ‘Tedium p’.

8. Write down the first eight letters: ‘Tedium pa’.

9. Write down the first nine letters: ‘Tedium par’.

10. Write down the first ten letters: ‘Tedium par E’.

11. Write down the first eleven letters: ‘Tedium par Ex’.

12. Write down the first twelve letters: ‘Tedium par Exc’.

13. Write down the first thirteen letters: ‘Tedium par Exce’.

14. Write down the first fourteen letters: ‘Tedium par Excel’

15. Write down the first fifteen letters: ‘Tedium par Excell’.

16. Write down the first sixteen letters: ‘Tedium par Excelle’.

17. Write down the first seventeen letters: ‘Tedium par Excellen’.

18. Write down the first eighteen letters: ‘Tedium par Excellenc’.

19. Write down the first nineteen letters: ‘Tedium par Excellence!’.

20. Write down the first twenty letters: ‘Tedium par Excellence! T’.

21. Write down the first twenty-one letters: ‘Tedium par Excellence! Te’.

22. Write down the first twenty-two letters: ‘Tedium par Excellence! Ted’.

23. Write down the first twenty-three letters: ‘Tedium par Excellence! Tedi’.

24. Write down the first twenty-four letters: ‘Tedium par Excellence! Tediu’.

25. Write down the first twenty-five letters: ‘Tedium par Excellence! Tedium’.

26. Write down the first twenty-six letters: ‘Tedium par Excellence! Tedium p’.

27. Write down the first twenty-seven letters: ‘Tedium par Excellence! Tedium pa’.

28. Write down the first twenty-eight letters: ‘Tedium par Excellence! Tedium par’.

Do Not Stop Here! You still have a long way to go to before reaching the end of this Tedium par Excellence! exercise.

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The Tw↑ns: Env↑ronMENTAL Training Mobile Phone Special (Part 2): Believe It Or Not, The Mobile Phone Is The First Go-To When The Brain Requires A Workout.

Posted on March 31, 2020 by thetwinsenvironmentaltraining

Let’s take a look at a couple of the apps on an iPhone. Please, please, please, no groaning, moaning, complaining, muttering or tutting over our choice of mobile device. An iPhone it is and that’s that. If your favourite mobile phone is a Samsung, Huawei, Xiaomi, Vivo, Oppo, Lenovo, congratulations, it’s good to know that there’s a smartphone to suit every taste. So let’s not digress. iPhone is the mobile device we shall be using and discussing along with its apps and how they are used when doing any EnvironMENTAL Training™ game, drill or exercise. Note we are not saying that one cannot do EnvironMENTAL Training™ games, drills or exercises without first purchasing iPhone 11 plus. So settle down with whatever mobile device you have at hand and let’s get to work.
First step, recall the named app in your mind, if you’re able to, looking at the shapes and colours that give the app its distinct features or characteristics.

Second step, locate the named app on your device, observe it carefully, paying close attention to the design, colour, shapes, etc.

Third step, put the device away and visualise the app in your mind’s eye, attempting without strain to recreate its look in your mind.

Fourth step, relook at the app before putting your device away again and quickly sketch the app from memory.

We understand that Apple devices come with a number of preinstalled apps, so we’ve tried to ensure that those apps are the ones used for this exercise. However, if for any reason your device does not have a mentioned app – we are aware that many and any number of reasons may result in your iOS device being void of a named app – then so long as there’s sufficient space, the simplest thing is to visit the App Store and download the app. You can always delete any recently downloaded apps when you’ve finished the exercises.

We trust the above helps with your execution of what is a very simple set of exercises if performed in the correct spirit: properly, patiently, calmly, enthusiastically, happily and joyously.

The first app is the Weather app.
The second app is the Voice Memos app.
The third app is the Photos app.
The fourth app is the Clock app.
The fifth app is the FaceTime app.
The sixth app is the Mail app.
The seventh app is the Calculator app.
The eighth app is the Notes app.
The ninth app is the News app.
The tenth app is the Stocks app.
The eleventh app is the iTunes app.
The twelve app is the Compass app.
The thirteenth app is the Reminders app.
The fourteenth app is the Watch app.
The fifteenth app is the Videos app.
The sixteenth app is the Maps app.
The seventeenth app is the Music app.
The eighteenth app is the Calendar app.
The nineteenth app is the Contacts app.
The twentieth app is the Tips app.
The twenty-first app is the Find Friends app.
The twenty-second app is the Podcasts app.
The twenty-third app is the Messages app.
The twenty-fourth app is the Find iPhone app.
The twenty-fifth app is the Camera app.
The twenty-sixth app is the Wallet app.
The twenty-seventh app is the Home app.
The twenty-eighth app is the App Store app.
The twenty-ninth app is the Books app.
The thirtieth app is the Health app.

The apps above are just a selection of apps for you to use as an exercise. Depending on the iOS device: whether you’re one of those who is slow to update ior are unable to use the latest iOS (13) because your device is no longer compatible, you may have or may not have a few of the apps. If this is the case use whatever apps you have available, whether they’re found, on your iPhone, iPad, iPod, MacBook or iMac.

Regular practice of this apps exercise will endear you to the useful tool you have in your possession. You are now in a position to laugh out loud whenever you hear anyone criticising your iOS and blaming it for society’s ails. You know that far from being a nuisance, it can be excellent tool in the hands of anyone keen to do the above apps exercise.

Now we’re at the end of this post, why put your feet up and with your favourite libation in hand, watch the interesting video How to Use a Telephone: a double documentary from 1927 and 1950. Perhaps after watching you can spend a few minutes, if desired, to imagine how today’s telephone networks have been built to provide a means of global communication for a talk-hungry society all over the world.

How to Use a Telephone – 1927 Documentary

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Stalemate Is Never An Option In The Tussle Between Idealism And Realism: The wishful Dream and the stark Reality.

Posted on February 18, 2020 by thetwinsenvironmentaltraining

“You can care for the world and still be carefree at the same time.” The Islington Twins

Dear Idealistic Student,

It was a fun three days we had with you and your godmother, visiting places of culture like the British Museum, National Gallery, Science Museum and Victoria & Albert Museum. Seeing you again in London was a great pleasure, and though the time we spent together was short (just a few hours each day,) we thoroughly enjoyed your company and the things you had to say. It’s amazing to think it’s been five years since you were last in London. Your godmother thinks highly of you and has always told us what a remarkable young man you are: mature for your age with a curious mind, unlike your sister who is only interested in becoming a famous YouTube sensation.

Meeting people from other countries is important, but it’s a pleasure and also a bonus when they’re as interesting as your good self. We’re fortunate that in our line of work we get to meet the best minds from around the globe. They often come to us because they want us to tinker with their minds, but what we get back in return is more than just the financial reward. The shelves in the library of our home are filled with titles, either recommended or, most often than not, gifts from grateful and satisfied clients. As training consultants we’re fortunate to have great clients who understand and appreciate why EnvironMENTAL Training™ celebrates the dull, the boring and the uninteresting.

Many thanks for the amazing pictures you sent; we were very surprised at how good they were, when one considers they were shot without flash. Usually, we’re of the opinion that pictures taken on mobile phones in galleries and museums are mediocre and a waste of time, especially when the results are so dreadful they can’t be shared. You’ll be pleased to know your godmother managed to order a couple of GTech external hard drives for you to use with your MacBook Pro; 4TB and 8TB which should give you ample storage space for all your images. We don’t think you’ll run out of space anytime soon.

We trust you have managed to remain in cheerful spirits and have settled down. Now you’re back home, what are your plans? Have you come to a decision as to what to do about military service? In the coming months as you ponder and decide, bear in mind that when it comes to a tussle between the consequences of being idealistic and the realty of being realistic, stalemate is never an option. Since military service is expected of everyone of your age group and you’re in perfect health, there’s no official reason why you won’t be spending some time living a soldier’s life. We understand why you find the system ridiculous and are tempted to leave the country, the land of your birth, for good. (Remember, not everyone has the advantage of dual nationality.) However, if you decide on leaving and giving up your citizenship, you have to think of the position you’ll be placing your family in. Is the possible scandal and rift with members of your family something you can handle, especially with your family’s status and military background? Your mother, who just like your godmother dotes on you, will be hurt but she will stand by whatever decision you make; your father has threatened to disown you; your two older brothers have promised never to speak to you again; we also hear that even your great uncle, who is considered a liberal, is threatening to cut you out of his will.

Thinking over your current situation reminded us that we have a couple of clients who were once in a similar position as you now find yourself. In both cases, they were running successful businesses begun in their early teens; taking time out to comply with the law of the land would have had a negative effect on those businesses. Fortunately for the pair, they were able to find a compromise that satisfied all parties concerned: them and their business, their family and the government. We shan’t go into details about how this was achieved since the information was given to us in confidence.

We promised to send you some works about or by individuals whose duty and honour – irrespective of their philosophy or belief – meant they had to fulfil their duties as soldiers. If you’re prepared to put aside your views of a soldier’s life and read these books without bias or prejudice, you may find them of help in making the correct decision Can you do this?

The first book is Meditations by the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius. It’s a book we usually recommend to clients with large responsibilities who are concerned that they might make or be making mistakes. Ancient as the work is, many have told us that it was more than helpful to them in their business affairs.

Gutenberg – Marcus Aurelius – Meditations
http://www.gutenberg.org/files/2680/2680-h/2680-h.htm#link2H_4_0018

Librivox – Marcus Aurelius – Meditations
https://librivox.org/the-meditations-of-the-emperor-marcus-aurelius-antoninus-by-marcus-aurelius/

YouTube – Marcus Aurelius – Meditations

Another book we recommend to business clients is The Bhagavad Gita or Message of The Master. There are several translations, but most clients prefer the Yogi Ramacharaka version. The book is about a warrior who has to fight against his will; we think its wisdom will help you during this period of important decision making.

The Bhagavad Gita – Yogi Ramacharaka

Click to access bhagavadgitaorme00chic.pdf

Librivox – The Bhagavad Gita (audio)

You’re at an age where you’re feeling idealistic and a wish to see a better world is only natural. Idealism can affect many people who consider themselves to be morally right; they believe that everyone must join them in whatever cause they’re championing and fight for a better world. They fail to realise that the battle is within themselves, and it is from within that all change first begins. For unless we renew ourselves by the renewal of our thoughts, what hope can we have of changing the world around us? It is better to start small, to start within ourselves, to grow steadily than to evangelise or (try to) coerce others to follow our views and beliefs. This is something that so-called leaders and those in authority fail to understand. If they did, they would act with wisdom and be a better example to those they govern.

Master your mind and thoughts and you will be amazed how this will lead you to the things you need for your future development and growth. The secret to a truly successful life is self-mastery. Those who are fortunate enough to have attained self-mastery are able to accept the good and bad, the positive and negative things in life with equanimity. It does not mean that they are passive or submissive, or that they refrain from taking the necessary actions to accomplish the changes they desire to see. But they do appear to be immune to negative influences or the frustrations and anxieties that harass so many of us, and are able to act decisively and with confidence under difficult and challenging circumstances.

Go out and enjoy your life. You’re only 18 years not 81 years old. We’re not suggesting that you should discard your idealism or lock it away in a cellar. On the contrary, you can find a balance between idealism, your present knowledge and experience, and the realistic changes you desire to see in your life and the world around you. As the Islington Twins have been heard to say, “You can care for the world and still be carefree at the same time.” Always remember this.

We hope – one never knows, does one? – that the conversations we had with you in London and what we’ve written here help to calm that restless, idealistic mind of yours. Are you leaving the planet tomorrow? Certainly not. So do not be in an almighty rush for anything. Relax; exercise patience. Everything has a right time and place. There’s so much for you to still learn and accomplish.

All the very best to you.

Yours sincerely,

Chuka Okonkwo & Dubem Okonkwo (The Tw↑ns)
Env↑ronMENTAL Training Agents

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The Tw↑ns: Env↑ronMENTAL Training Mobile Phone Special (Part1): The mobile phone is not spoiling our lives…as all our clients will happily tell you.

Posted on January 10, 2020 by thetwinsenvironmentaltraining

Part One

Contrary to the belief in some quarters, the mobile phone is not spoiling our lives. In fact, as all our clients will happily tell you, it is their first go-to whenever they wish to give their brains a required workout or to get their minds or emotions under better control. Well, don’t look so astounded. Believe it or not, not everyone you see on the Tube or bus, at the railway station or airport, in the library or bookshop, the theatre or concert hall is addicted to their mobile phone. You may not know it, but that person whom you’re staring at with that disdainful look on your face is more than likely oblivious to your staring because they’re far too engrossed in playing one of our delightfully boring games, which are for anyone but certainly not for everyone.

So whilst you may be feeling sorry for them, please save your sympathy for yourself; you may require it by the end of the day. Why at the end of the day? Well, that is the time when you finally lay your head down on your pillow and go to sleep every night; so tonight, a quick review of the day – unless you’re an insomniac, in that case do this exercise before entering your sleeping chamber – will show you how many times you were bored with a task at work, irritated by a colleague, swore internally over something you read online, allowed valuable minutes to drift whilst you prowled aimlessly through Instagram, walked around the office in cuckoo land, passed through the streets to and from your place of business half-conscious or at the best of times completely deaf and blind to the sounds and sights around you, had a mental fight with intrusive thoughts, entertained thoughts of anger towards someone you’ve never met, i.e. President Trump or Boris Johnson, procrastinated for the umpteenth time or were drawn into a pointless argument that could so easily have been avoided had you been a master of your mind and in control of your thoughts and emotions instead of being their slave and subject to every irrelevant thought or primitive emotion seeking expression.

As many of you know, practitioners of EnvironMENTAL Training™ love nothing more than diving into any of the monotonous games we devise for their entertainment. (Admittedly, these tedious games aren’t to everyone’s taste, but what is in life?) We hear from many of them that they wouldn’t have things any other way, and since we aim to please, we shall always make sure that Tedium par Excellence! is exactly what it says on the tin. And like any tin, biscuit, cake or chocolate, this one contains a variety of – in this case – the dullest mental activities that can be done anywhere in the world with a pen or mobile phone near at hand. Whilst most of modern day society loathes the idea of anything with a trace of boredom applied to it and will avoid, at all costs, anything that can be labelled as boring, true lovers or aficionados of all monotonous things related to EnvironMENTAL Training™ simply can’t get enough to satisfy their appetite for the dullest, the tedious and the uninteresting. Note the phrase true lovers.

We shall expand a little on this phrase: true lovers. However, we shan’t spend too much time as we’re aware that some of you – i.e. regular visitors to our posts – are besides yourselves with excitement and anticipation and can’t wait to get stuck into our latest offering. So we shall be quick without rushing. Please bear with us at this point.

In a modern city, e.g. London or New York, there are people who do what they and others would consider to be boring jobs, dull tasks, monotonous work or uninteresting activities, and there are people who attend conferences where so-called boring subjects are expanded upon to an audience eager to hear or learn something new about a topic or subject they know nothing or little about. None of these people meet the EnvironMENTAL Training™ criteria of true lovers of the boring. We do not suggest that what any of these people considers to be boring, dull, monotonous or uninteresting is not so for them; that would not be correct or fair. What we do say is that true lovers of the dull, boring, monotonous and uninteresting, desire to be emotionally and mentally challenged in more ways than just annually attending a conference to hear speakers talk about barcodes, shipping forecasts, yellow lines and other mundane topics.

There is a difference between researching about bar codes, shipping forecasts, yellow lines and topics considered uninteresting and simply listening to someone relating their experiences acquired through years of dedicated research. We do not say that there is nothing to be gained; there is a lot to be gained from a shared experience; however, personal experience is irreplaceable as far as personal experience can be gained. Not everyone can visit the Moon, ascend Mount Everest or trek to the North Pole, but within reason we can expect the average citizen to be able – if the desire or interest is there – to research the world of barcodes, shipping forecasts, yellow lines or the plethora of subjects considered mundane. The work and time spent over many weeks, months and even years, collecting, collating, filing, cataloguing and classifying will be more rewarding and satisfying than just attending a conference once a year to hear for eight hours the interesting discoveries others have made through applying themselves to a subject or topic.

True lovers and aficionados of activities that can be described as boring, monotonous, dull, tedious,or uninteresting relish the daily practice of mental games, drills and exercises provided by The Twins: EnvironMENTAL Training™. Recognising their long term benefits for both brain and mind, they care nothing for the absence of excitement, the lack of thrills or novelty, for in their wisdom they know that it is only by the discipline of repeating an uninteresting activity with conscious attention that one is able to first endure then override the uncomfortable feelings that engulf one whenever a dull exercise is carried out. The length of time may be extended as the system becomes immune to the nausea that is triggered by the act of repeatedly engaging – without variation in most cases – in an activity void of any pleasure or interest. However, despite the perceived objections by critics and detractors of EnvironMENTAL Traiing™, those lovers as aficionados have discovered that thanks to their daily practice: willpower is increased, patience is developed and alertness is improved. There is not enough time here to go into all the benefits gained from the regular practice of doing boring things, not in a mechanical, disinterested and inattentive manner, but with full voluntary attention, keen interest and awakened curiosity supported by resolute determination and discipline. There is just enough space and time to say Tedium par Excellence!

End of Part One

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The Disciple’s Tablet I – No.3 Pythagoras

Posted on December 19, 2019 by thetwinsenvironmentaltraining

As the year canters towards a close we know that many of you yearn to be supplied with enough of our tedious games, drills and exercises to keep you busy during this festive period. We understand that some of you are already bored to death with everything and anything to do with Christmas. We have heard firsthand from a number of you who are tired of the sight of Christmas trees, sickened at the sight of another Christmas mince pie, completely disinterested in the selection of Champagnes on offer at your favourite wine merchant, have no desire to hear another word of what to do, what to eat, what to drink or even what to watch on Christmas Day. How strange such a state of mind must appear to anyone who doesn’t know you.

But we, as your training consultants and providers of Tedium par Excellence! know you well and understand from your complaints that having been oversaturated with everything and anything related to Christmas since late October and probably earlier, you have developed an early ennui to the whole damned festivity as one irritated housewife related to us just the other day. We assured her that she is not the only one who has grown weary of ‘Christmas before Halloween’, ‘Christmas before Bonfire Night’ or what a diamond dealer penned in an email, ‘Christmas before Christmas’.

Mid November screeching carol singers turned up late on a client’s doorstep rattling a collection box and belting out what sounded to their ears a monotonous drone of Marry Christmas, Marry Christmas, Marry Christmas, Marry Christmas, Marry Christmas, Marry Christmas, Marry Christmas, Marry Christmas. Can you imagine our poor client’s (well, they’re not exactly poor; they run a hedge fund) auditory ordeal as these so-called carol singers demanded money before they had so much as sung a note.

We’re not in any position to prevent Santa Claus from dropping down your chimney a week before Christmas nor to prevent screeching carol singers from descending on your doorstep; however, we can provide you with a mental escape route that will keep you so busy you wouldn’t even hear Santa’s Ho, ho, ho! were the red caped wonder to suddenly appear with gift laden sleigh on your porch. You will be so/So engrossed in our latest treat, which uses only the first two lines of Part 3 Pythagoras of the wonderful Disciple’s Tablet I, that your attention will be too occupied to be distracted by anything considered unwelcome to your mind; it matters not whether it’s your mother hounding you to send off Christmas cards to your cousins, the wife nagging you about the insufficient number of Christmas crackers for the big lunch, the kids pestering you to tell them whether the trip to Disneyland is still set for the New Year, work colleagues texting because they haven’t received your assurance that you will be joining them for the annual Christmas wine bar crawl. Rest assured that we have thought seriously about your collective complaints about the early arrival of Christmas that what we have set out shall ensure that as long as you’re immersed in searching the corridors of your brain for words containing four letters, six letters or even eight letters, whatever’s going on in the world outside will pass without your noticing.

Apart from a willingness to perform this boring exercise, which is not fun in any way, no matter how many times you try to convince your mind that it is, you will require your Smythson notebook, Graf von Faber-Castell fountain pen and possibly an English dictionary if your spelling ability is somewhat suspect or even a little rusty. We shall leave it o you to decide if your spelling is as it should be or whether it is something you may seriously consider doing something about before the year is over. Here is not the place to go off on one, as it were, about the standard of spelling amongst the university classes, so we shall refrain from quoting what a professor of education expressed in rather colourful language to us and the other dinner guests. For a man with a number of quality tomes to his name and numerous peer reviewed papers, his use of the expletive that begins with the sixth letter of the English alphabet and ends in the eleventh letter of the same alphabet, and especially the gerund form was shocking not to us but to most of the other guests.

We understand he feels strongly about what he called the fall in spelling standards, and would have understood him just as clearly without the expletive in its gerund form, but, alas, so much of what he expressed was lost on his audience due to not only the repetitious use of the word but also the volume. If you have ever witnessed a drunkard on the tube or on a bus ranting to all in earshot about the state of the world, then you can clearly visualise the scene that took place. The main difference is where our drunkard is on public transport, the professor was in a private house – a magnificent mansion in Hampstead – with the males dressed in black tie and the females adorned in their very best couture. One or two dress rebels were casually dressed. But since they were funding not just the drinks – more than one or two vintages we must add – but had paid for the whole event: food, decoration, entertainers and heaven knows what else, even the hostess was forced to turn a blind eye to the fact that her edict that inappropriately attired guests would be barred entry had been blatantly ignored. She in her wisdom was wise enough to realise that tech wealth does adhere to anyone else’s rules. Enough said on this point. We enjoyed the event immensely and everyone agreed that we were all blessed to be on the guest list. Let’s return to the exercise before we pique some of your curiosity. Sorry for the digression.

Whilst doing the exercise you should have *The Shipping Forecast playing loudly. Ignore whatever is being said, just ensure you can hear clearly what is being said if you were to pause to listen. You are not, however, to pause or to stop what you are doing to listen to the forecast. You are to focus completely on the tedious exercise you have set out to do. If you find yourself paying attention to what is being said, begin the entire exercise all over again. It doesn’t matter where you’re at: the start, the middle, or nearing the end, begin the exercise from Exercise A.

You will probably find this instruction annoying, but it’s been added here to help you to focus on one thing at a time and to prevent your mind from wandering off. Have you ever stood on the kerb having a conversation with an old schoolfriend or work colleague? Did you notice that despite the noise of the traffic you were so engrossed with your conversation, for most of the time you didn’t actually hear it? This is the same state you are attempting to recreate as you do this monotonous exercise.

*The Shipping Forecast – BBC Radio 4

Part 3 Pythagoras*
POLPLL;MS;OMASPOMONIARTYOURDNIMTO
ETARTNECNOCBECAUSETICANPMDSCAOK,

*The Tw↑ns: Env↑ronMENTAL Disciple’s Tablet I

https://wp.me/p1CzCf-WP

The above two lines in upper case are an excerpt from Part 3 Pythagoras The Disciple’s Tablet I posted on March 4, 2017 on WordPress.

Preliminary exercise

Using your Smythson notebook write down the following:

Letters of the alphabet that appear in the excerpt.

Letters of the alphabet that are omitted from the excerpt.

Vowels that appear in the excerpt.

Vowels that are omitted from the excerpt.

Consonants that appear in the excerpt.

Consonants that are omitted from the excerpt.

Exercise A

How many Y’s?

How many M’s?

How many A’s?

How many S’s?

How many E’s?

How many K’s?

How many C’s?

How many T’s?

How many L’s?

How many U’s?

How many D’s?

How many O’s?

How many N’s?

How many R’s?

How many B’s?

How many I’s?

How many P’s?

Exercise B

Perform this exercise aloud.

1.) Read aloud all the letters on the first two lines, beginning at P (first letter) and ending at K (last letter) on the second line.

2.) Read aloud ONLY the vowels on the first two lines, beginning at O (second letter) on the first line and ending at O (penultimate letter) on the second line.

3.) Read aloud ONLY the consonants on the first two lines, beginning at P (first letter) on the first line and ending at K (last letter) on the second line.

4.) Look at each letter on the first two lines, beginning at P (first letter) on the first line and ending at K (last letter) on the second line, and wherever you see a consonant say out in a loud voice “consonant”.

5.) Look at each letter on the first two lines, beginning at P (first letter) on the first line and ending at K (last letter) on the second line, and wherever you see a vowel say in a loud voice “vowel.”

6.) Look at each letter on the first two lines, beginning at P (first letter) on the first line and ending at K (last letter) on the second line, and wherever you see a consonant say in a loud voice “vowel”.

7.) Look at each letter on the first two lines, beginning at P (first letter) on the first line and ending at K (last letter) on the second line, and wherever you see a vowel say in loud voice “consonant”.

Exercise C

Exercise 1

Using the first two lines of Part 3 Pythagoras ONLY, write a THREE letter word for each letter.

Below are the first six letters as an example.

POT, OLD, LED, PIP, LOW, LEG…

Now complete the rest of the letters on the two lines.

Exercise 2

Using the first two lines of Part 3 Pythagoras ONLY, write a FOUR letter word for each letter.

Below are the first six letters as an example.

POOL, OGRE, LAMB, PEEL, LATE, LOOT…

Now complete the rest of the letters on the two lines.

Exercise 3

Using the first two lines of Part 3 Pythagoras ONLY, write a FIVE letter word for each letter.

Below are the first six letters as an example.

POKER, OUNCE, LEGAL, PROUD, LATER, LABEL…

Exercise 4

Using the first two lines of Part 3 Pythagoras ONLY, write a SIX letter word for each letter.

Below are the first six letters as an example.

PEBBLE, ORANGE, LITTLE, POLICE, LEGION, LOCKET…

Exercise 5

Using the first two lines of Part 3 Pythagoras ONLY, write a seven letter word for each letter.

Below are the first six letters as an example.

PLAYBOY, ORATION, LUNATIC, PASTIME, LAMBAST, LOCATOR…

Exercise 6

Using the first two lines of Part 3 Pythagoras ONLY, write an EIGHT letter word for each letter.

Below are the first six letters as an example.

PLANNING, ORGANISM, LEFTOVER, PLEASURE, LANGUISH, LAUGHTER…

Exercise 7

Using the first two lines of Part 3 Pythagoras ONLY, write a NINE letter word for each letter.

Below are the first six letters as an example.

PERTINENT, OSCILLATE, LUDICROUS, POSTULATE, LIABILITY, LAMINATED…

Exercise 8

Using the first two lines of Part 3 Pythagoras ONLY, write a TEN letter word for each letter.

Below are the first six letters as an example.

POPULATION, OMNISCIENT, LAMENTABLE, PERIODICAL LABORATORY, LEPRECHAUN…

In the eight examples above for Exercise C, the first six letters of of Part 3 Pythagoras have been given for you to follow likewise. Do not use a dictionary, thesaurus, encyclopaedia or word finder to assist you. Trust your memory and see how well it serves you. When you feel you have an appropriate word check how it’s spelt using whatever dictionary (offline or online) you can find. It may take you sometime to complete the entire exercise, but is there a rush? It’s not as if you’re entering a spelling competition and need to bring your spelling up to scratch by a certain time. Just take your time and enjoy yourself. That is possible even with something as dull and boring as this.

Remember to have the shipping forecast accompanying you every time you do the exercise, even if you’re doing it for half an hour or less.

Tedium par Excellence!

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The Tw↑ns: Env↑ronMENTAL Training Graduate Special: Losing sight of what you love doing won’t make you happy.

Posted on November 6, 2019 by thetwinsenvironmentaltraining

Dear Art Graduate,

It seems like so much time has passed since we first met you at your degree show. But it’s actually only two weeks. You have to thank your uncle for our being there because after finishing his usual weekly training session with us, he invited us to come to see your show. He sang your praises, telling us how talented an artist you are and of his confidence that you will go far in your career. He was keen for us to see your work because he thought we would love your style. We weren’t disappointed.

We chuckle whenever we recall the look of embarrassment on your face when we told you your work was astonishing. You went bright red. It was good seeing your little cousin at the show; she was so funny, calling you Cherry Blossom as you tried to hide your face. Usually when we see her it’s as a client; rarely is it in a social situation. She’s very bright; one of our best students. Never moans, never grumbles, unlike some of the kids of her age group. We love the way she just gets on with each monotonous exercise without a word of complaint.

The popularity of EnvironMENTAL Training™ means that of late, we have had to deal with a number of pampered and overprotected kids, whose parents tremble whenever a new game or exercise is introduced to their little darlings. If there isn’t concern about whether a certain mental exercise will induce an epileptic fit, trigger a migraine attack, cause sleepless nights or raise anxiety levels due to being deemed too challenging, their parents are worried that little Sally-Ann or Bartholomew will be miserable if they’re not constantly praised and rewarded for every achievement, no matter how trivial or insignificant – even if it’s simply reciting forwards and backwards the first nine letters of the English alphabet.

We’re actually writing to thank you for last week’s email not to bore you with stories about overanxious parents concerned about the consequences of not dealing with their child’s attention deficiency, yet fearful of any negative effect that may occur due to the prolonged practice of reading upside down, copying two different poems by alternating between the left and right hand or mentally adding ten rows of six digit numbers.

We promised to reply within three days not seven, so apologies for the delay; we can’t expect you to accept an explanation of mitigating circumstances – lawyer’s spiel – as a valid reason. So we shan’t take up more of your time by talking about the Taiwanese banker who feels – wrongly – that he’s making little progress with his mental training and ought to be putting in longer hours. As if fourteen hours a week (six during the week, eight on weekends) isn’t sufficient! One wonders how he’d be feeling if he was like the bright student who has recently stopped training with us because he can’t cope with the monotony of EnvironMENTAL Training™ exercises – it’s as if he didn’t read or heed our warning before enrolling. Not only that, this bright student is abandoning his dream to study Medicine at Cambridge and is also getting rid of his 19th Century violin. No more practice: no more Bartok, Bruch or Schumann. Is it a waste of all the money spent on crammers to get him up to scratch for Oxbridge, not forgetting our fees and what his grandparents spent on hours of private violin lessons? His parents obviously think so because they’re refusing to speak to him till he comes to his senses. Such is life.

Thank you for you sending your brother’s beautiful photographs of your degree show. It may be seven days since you wrote, but we’ve been going through them ever since. He’s an amazing photographer: his sharp eyes captured the evening so well. No doubt your super display has long been dismantled; hopefully you managed to secure a nice home for everything. It isn’t right that hours of sweat, toil and perhaps tears should be left for the college caretaker to treat as rubbish. If you haven’t been able to find a home, we think we know someone who’ll be happy to take your artwork into their home. They’ll pay a good price; you won’t be out of pocket or shortchanged.

We trust you have kept focussed, upbeat and positive. You will need to be in order to attract the correct environment in which to grow and prosper. Sometimes the weeks and months following a degree show fail to live up to expectations and graduates slip into despondency. Remaining focussed, upbeat and positive is not easy when one has recently graduated with an MA degree, irrespective of whether one was awarded a Pass, Merit or Distinction. Confidence is easily sapped or eroded if the expected job offers or positions fail to materialise as early as expected or desired. Whatever happens as you plan your career, it’s important to keep all your dreams before you at all times because it’s easy to become distracted in the pursuit of a steady job. Paying bills is important, but losing sight of what you love doing won’t make you happy.

Unless, you happen to meet someone in your chosen profession who happens to be enlightened or is seeking talent to nurture, you could easily find yourself in a job where you’re not exactly doing what you want to do. We can’t emphasise enough the importance of patience and perseverance, and how you must never permit your dreams to fade away or allow doubt to find a secure place in your mind. Doubt’s knock may be loud and incessant, but you don’t have to open the door and usher it in. To do so is destructive, but it’s a common practice we’ve observed amongst graduates fresh out of university. That’s why so many end up working in careers they hate, having discarded their earlier love of art and being creative.

We have a slightly unconventional approach which may not be in keeping with current ideas or thinking on how graduates should get themselves noticed or attract paid work. We do not subscribe to the belief that it’s whom you know that gets you ahead, or that only those with wealthy parents become successful; neither do we buy into the gender or race discrimination issues that many claim hinder progress. These problems exist, but a focussed mind will take its owner to the highest point if the focus is there, or it will guide its owner to the lowest depths if such demoralising thoughts – no matter how true – are taken on board or habitually entertained.

You have limitless talent, seeking to express itself in the world. There is nothing preventing you from achieving all your dreams, as long as you’re prepared to be patient, work well, maintain your vision and have unshakeable faith not only in yourself but also in your abilities.

You will remember how we repeatedly mentioned the importance of exercising patience and maintaining your vision. Experience has shown us that impatience has led many artists to quit when things were going against them; it has also shown us that a vision that isn’t maintained soon fades from the mind.

You spoke of your plan to spend some of your prize money on books and asked us to recommend titles; since that’s an excellent idea to us, we have curated, forgive the pun, a small selection of works we consider absolute requirements for your library that will be referenced for years to come. We’ve also included a couple of Taschen links. You will find that once you fall in love with Taschen, you won’t look at anyone else; it’s love for a lifetime.

The Complete Book of Colour – Suzy Chazzari

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Complete-Book-Colour-Interiors/dp/1862042500/ref=sr_1_sc_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1372422612&sr=1-1-spell&keywords=colour+Element+boooks

Complete Costume History – Auguste Racinet

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/3836531070/ref=pd_aw_sim_14_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=1CQKM296B54YTRD5P0AA#immersive-view_1442595873275

The World of Ornament – David Batterham

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/383654007X/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1442595268&sr=8-1&pi=SX200_QL40&keywords=The+world+of+ornament&dpPl=1&dpID=51WBRY8oDlL&ref=plSrch#immersive-view_1442595456478

Taschen fashion catalogue

https://www.taschen.com/pages/en/catalogue/fashion/all.htm

Taschen design

https://www.taschen.com/pages/en/search/design

We have a full diary for the next few weeks, but shall be in touch again. We’re conscious of the fact that we haven’t answered your question about whether it’s correct to look down your nose at social media. We shan’t promise, but hopefully we’ll be able to find time to send you our thoughts. In the meantime look after yourself and start forging your career as a successful artist. Please don’t hesitate to contact us if there’s any help or advice you want. We promise not to keep you waiting more than a day, perhaps two at the most.

All the best.

Yours sincerely,

Chuka Okonkwo & Dubem Okonkwo (The Tw↑ns)

Env↑ronMENTAL Training Agents

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The Tw↑ns: Env↑ronMENTAL Training Marketing Special: Emulate what the established art institutions have been doing unashamedly for years.

Posted on October 22, 2019 by thetwinsenvironmentaltraining

Dear Aspiring Designer,

Thank you so much for the excellent time we spent with you and your fiancé last week. We thoroughly enjoyed the hours spent talking about your work and looking at all your designs. Please thank your fiancé for the marvellous food he served. His dishes, recipes handed down from his great grandmother, would not disgrace him if served at some of London’s top restaurants. We wish him all the best in his venture with the three ex Goldman Sachs bankers. When he finally opens his own restaurant next year, we believe the guests will enjoy his Turkish inspired dishes just as we enjoyed specialities like his spinach and cheese pie and the dish you called Mevlubi. Let’s not forget desserts like his yummy Kanafeh and the deliciously sweet baklava with walnuts and pistachios that made us abandon our table manners….

We trust that life after graduating is going well and that each day brings you closer to accomplishing your vision and dreams. Having had the pleasure to spend time admiring your output, we’re determined to see that you earn from all that hard work. There’s no reason why you can’t leave your nanny job and devote more time to your design career. You have enough talent to enable you to make an excellent living, so should think seriously of handing in your notice. Lovely as the family are, their only interest is in how you cater to their offspring. We don’t wish to criticise them; we know they’re perfectly decent, but neither the husband or the wife made any attempt to see your show. Considering they live ten minutes away, we do find it odd. Even if we give them the benefit of the doubt, and say that they’re extremely busy; one wonders how busy they were if they could be at three or four social events in Central London, yet couldn’t find the time to see your degree show. Daunting as it may appear, handing in your notice isn’t a big deal if you weigh up what’s at stake. It’s just a case of you being bold and daring enough to sell your talents and abilities – not as a recently graduated student but as an expert and master of your various crafts. Your family and most of your friends agree with us.

Marketing yourself as a professional and master of your various crafts is not empty bragging or showing off; neither does it mean or imply that you know it all and have learnt everything there is to know in your chosen disciplines, i.e. creative theatre design, costume design and illustration. On the contrary, it shows that what you have learnt and mastered to date is good enough for you to earn a good living without needing to join a temping agency, serve as a waitress or work behind a bar.

Your designs are original and have a freshness that makes them desirable. They can be marketed individually as pieces of art: paintings, drawings, sculpture and installation art and sold to the public or private collectors. It is just a case of you viewing your designs not solely as art but also as products: postcards, greetings cards, posters, prints on garments, mugs, jigsaw puzzles, tote bags, umbrellas and much more.

There’s no reason why your current designs as well as future creations cannot be promoted and sold in the same way that the established art institutions sell facsimiles of the drawings, paintings and sculptors in their collection and exhibitions. Your best friend’s husband wants to support you in setting up a design company. A splendid idea. There are companies here and abroad who will pay premium for a licence to use your designs. The fortune that’s waiting to be made will have your name on the Sunday Times Rich List in a few years. Don’t think that we’re not supportive of your wish to start your own charity; we are. However, do you want to run a begging bowl charity, constantly rattling a box or holding jumble sales, or would you rather be a wealthy philanthropist bestowing endowments to your favourite causes? Look how your sister-in-law has been able to open a retirement farm for horses in South America. She couldn’t have done so if it hadn’t been for inheritance: a considerable sum of money and property left to her by her late uncle.

The following establishments: National Gallery, National Portrait Gallery, Victoria & Albert Museum, British Museum, Wallace Collection, Dulwich Picture Gallery, Tate Modern and the Royal Academy of Arts shamelessly market and sell their various wares to visitors to their premises, and even those who are unable to set foot under their roof are still enticed online to whip out their debit or credit cards after filling up a basket of temptation in the form of merchandise of varying quality and price.

National Gallery Shop

https://www.nationalgallery.co.uk/products/focus-artistsvic

National Portrait Gallery

https://npgshop.org.uk

Victoria & Albert Museum Shop

https://www.vam.ac.uk/shop/

British Museum Shop

https://www.britishmuseumshoponline.org

The Wallace Collection Shop

https://wallacecollectionshop.org

Dulwich Picture Gallery Shop

https://shop.dulwichpicturegallery.org.uk

Tate Shop

https://shop.tate.org.uk/gifts/new-in

Royal Academy

https://shop.royalacademy.org.uk

Is there any reason why you cannot emulate what these established art institutions have been doing unashamedly for years? There’s evidently money to be made in making (or having things made), then selling them as merchandise to visitors. No doubt, these establishments simply collaborate with suitable manufacturers, commissioning them to produce whatever is believed will sell well. The art institutions evidently understand what the punters want to take home with them to celebrate a visit to see the collection or a major exhibition. It’s a win win win situation, especially when one thinks of the size of their collection and the number of exhibitions – major and minor – held throughout the year.

You mentioned that when you were little you were crazy about Rubik Cubes and carried one wherever you went; your parents were constantly telling you off for playing with them at mealtimes. It’s funny to think that kids of your generation had their Xbox or PSB console confiscated if they misbehaved, whilst your punishment for annoying your parents was to be banned from playing with your Rubik Cube.

If you don’t know of Giovanni Contardi, we think you’ll love his mastery of the Rubik’s Cube. He’s working on an entirely different level from your average lightning cube solver. If he can make a living, then there’s absolutely no reason why you can’t do likewise with your beautiful designs.

Italian Rubik’s Cube artist Giovanni Contardi

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/03/13/contardi-rubiks-cube-portraits-of-lebron-rihanna-sell-for-thousands.html

Rubik’s Cube Pop Art Portaits by Giovanni Contardi

https://youtu.be/oApRG1qsmDA

One of our client’s has a brother whose customers would love your work. We‘ve already shown him your website and he was impressed. He has your contact details, so expect a a call any day now. His customers have plenty to spend; they grace the Forbes Rich list annually, so don’t undersell yourself.

Are you free to meet next week?

All the best.

Yours sincerely,

Chuka Okonkwo & Dubem Okonkwo (The Tw↑ns)

Env↑ronMENTAL Training Agents

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Are EnvironMENTAL Training™ Games, Drills and Exercises: Your prescription, for self-mastery and conquering the nauseating feeling of boredom?

Posted on September 30, 2019 by thetwinsenvironmentaltraining

Dear Managing Director,

We trust you managed to rise this morning after last night’s late meal at your sister-in-law’s. Please send her our thanks and tell her we are big fans of her cuisine. How could we not be after the tuna and bean salad which opened the meal? Fresh tuna has a succulent taste that the canned variety can never match; the same can be said for her beautifully cooked cannellini beans made tastier not just by a long soak, but also made extra tender by the addition of khombu. It wasn’t the only sea vegetable she served last night – talk about pressing our abdominal buttons. How on earth did she know that hijiki is one of our favourite sea vegetables? Next time we’re guests – hopefully very soon – we’d be delighted to enjoy her special broccoli, courgette and mushroom quiche. We haven’t forgotten her blueberry cheesecake or banana and date loaf served with homemade custard. And when the homemade custard ran out, her mother’s blackberry tart and the banana and date loaf still retained their great taste with the addition of Normandy cream form her aunt’s little farm – wow! What a double treat for the palate.

Why on earth is her teenage daughter toying with becoming a vegan when it means that she’ll have to cut out much of what her mother cooks? Who, but her daughter, can argue so obstinately with her mother’s view that if her daughter chooses to follow university friends and reject foods she’s happily consumed all her life, then whenever she’s home for the holidays, she’ll have to prepare her own meals or eat out just as she does during term? Doting mother as she is, she feels it’s not her duty and that she can’t be expected to accommodate her daughter’s newly acquired vegan tastebuds or ethical eating: plant-based, sustainably sourced, environmentally friendly or whatever now moves her conscience. All we can say is you should tell your sister-in-law that even as her daughter rejects her delicious home cooking, she has acquired two new admirers who adore everything she brings from kitchen to table.

As promised we’ve sent you a tedious mental game to share with your sceptical colleagues.

Avoid unnecessary eye strain or mental tension because there’s no need to adopt unnatural habits when doing Environmental Training™ drills, exercises and games. Your brain is quite capable of doing all the exercises; it only requires a willingness on your part to put it through its paces. Strong desire will supply you with all you need to accomplish each exercise: energy, will, determination.

*NB If at any time during an exercise, you forget a word or your mental impression fades, use common sense and acquire a fresh one. There is nothing to be gained by straining to mentally see fading or faded words. So please don’t do this.

Read all the exercises carefully before doing anything else, but do not attempt to do any of them after the initial reading. Once you’ve completed your first reading, reread it twice more. Then you may begin.

Memorise the italicised statement below; learn it thoroughly: forwards as well as backwards.

‘Having a vision is motivating and helps us and also newcomers to the team focus on our mission.’

From memory, use the first eight words from the above sentence to complete the exercises below., ‘Having a vision is motivating and helps us…’

Count the number of letters from:

1.) The fourth letter in the first word up to the second letter in the seventh word.

2.) The fifth letter in the first word up to the last letter of the sixth word.

3.) The middle letter of the seventh word down to the third letter of the first word.

4.) The fifth letter in the fifth word up to the second letter of the eighth word.

It is at this point that your favourite Smythson notebook and Graff van Faber Castell writing instrument can be brought out from your writing desk. If you’ve not already done so, have your maid or butler run as fast as they can to fetch them for you. Don’t let your mind drift into revelry as you wait their swift return. If you’re already sitting with writing material nearby, simply carry on with the writing part of the next exercises.

First memorise the following sentence:

‘Having a vision is motivating and helps us and also newcomers to the team focus on our mission.’

Make sure you can recall the entire sentence with ease. First forwards, word for word; then backwards word for word. Since you will be using words from your mental plate, clarity is not only a requirement, it is essential. If you’re struggling to see or recall a certain word or letter, it will be difficult to complete the next set of simple but challenging exercises.

In your notebook and from memory only:

5.) Write down the third vowel after the word ‘motivating‘.

6.) Write down the fourth letter before the word ‘motivating‘.

7.) Write down the first ‘s‘ after the word ‘motivating‘.

8.) Write down the fourth letter after the word ‘motivating‘.

9.) Write down the first letter after the second vowel before the word ‘motivating‘.

10.) Write down the third letter before the second vowel before the word ‘motivating‘.

11.) Recall the middle letter of each odd-lettered word.

12.) Recall the first and last letter of each word.

13.) Recall the number of vowels in the last three words.

14.) Recall the number of syllables in the first five words.

15.) Recall the number of syllables in the last six words.

16.) Recall the number of consonants in the first three words.

17.) Recall the second letter of each word.

18.) Recall the letters between the first and last letters of the third, seventh, and fifth words.

19.) Recall the second consonant of each word.

20.) Recall the letters between the first and last letters of the fourth, eighth and first words.

‘Having a vision is motivating and helps us and also newcomers to the team focus on our mission.’

Fix the above line in your memory before proceeding with the exercise below:

a) Recall the first letter of each word.

b) Write down the last letter of all the:
Three-lettered words
Four-lettered words
Five-lettered words

c) Write down the words that have:
One syllable
Two syllables
Three syllables
Four syllables

d) Write down the last letter of every word with:
Two vowels
Three vowels
Four vowels

e) Write down every second letter following the fifth word.

f) Write down every third letter preceding the seventh word.

g) Write down every second vowel preceding the seventh word.

h) Write down every second consonant following the fifth word.

i) State the number of vowels from the word ‘motivating‘ up to the word ‘focus‘.

j) State the number of consonants from the word ‘the‘ up to the word ‘mission‘.

Take a well-earned break and refresh yourself. Perhaps a 10 or 15 minute break in which you either take a nap or have something to eat. If you choose the napping option, instruct your maid or butler gently stir you just in case Hypnos has taken a strong hold of you. Those of you who are not fortunate to have domestic staff should rely on a sound alarm clock. If you have chosen to eat something, why not have one of your kitchen staff bring you your favourite tuna sandwiches. Oh, you can’t stand tuna! Then choose something else. It’s not for us to know the contents of your larder or fridge.

Now that you’ve had that well-earned break it’s time to resume the exercises. Review the line below. If you’ve forgotten it or have problems seeing it in your mind’s eye, you will have to relearn it. Remember to review or learn it forwards and backwards. Since you will be getting the answers or information from your mental plate you will need to know the line accurately.

‘Having a vision is motivating and helps us and also newcomers to the team focus on our mission.’

k) State the number of vowels from the word ‘motivating‘ up to the word ‘focus‘.

l) State the number of consonants from the word ‘the‘ up to the word ‘mission’.

m) Write down every third letter preceding the seventh word.

n) Write down every second vowel preceding the seventh word.

o) Write down every second consonant following the fifth word.

p) State the number of vowels from the word ‘motivating‘ up to the word ‘focus‘.

q) Write down every second letter from the word ‘the‘ up to the word ‘mission‘.

The above exercises are dependant upon you fully committing the line:’Having a vision….focus on our mission.’ to memory. All your answers must come from your memory. When doing the exercises you are not to read the line from any written material or external device. However, if you find you’ve forgotten the line or are struggling to see it clearly, then wisely acquire a fresh impression. Of course you will have to use an external device or written text to assist you each time you need to refreshen your memory. But once you have reviewed the line again, committing it to memory, put any device or text used to one side and resume the exercises. Only the line in your mind’s eye must be relied upon as a source of help to carry out the exercises.

Your final exercise, exercise r, involves locating particular letters in order to state how many are present between a stated group of words.

r) Relying solely on your memory, state:

1.) The number of “s’s” from the word ‘helps‘ up to and including the word ‘mission‘?

2.) The number of “e’s” from the word ‘team‘ down to and including the word ‘vision‘?

3.) The number of “i’s” from the word ‘mission‘ down to and including the word ‘is‘?

4.) The number of “i’s” from the first ‘i’ in the word ‘motivating‘ to the fifth letter in the word ‘mission‘?

The above exercises are dependant upon you fully committing the line:’Having a vision….focus on our mission.’ to memory. All your answers must come from your memory. When doing these exercises you are not to read the line from any written material or external device. However, if you find you’ve forgotten the line or are struggling to see it clearly, then wisely acquire a fresh impression. Of course you will have to use an external device or written text to assist you each time you need to refreshen your memory. But once you have reviewed the line again, committing it to memory, put any device or text used to one side and resume the exercises. Only the line in your mind’s eye must be relied upon as a source of help to carry out the exercises.

It might surprise you to learn that these mental exercises are from a lesson we delivered in 2005 to a group of chartered surveyors off Gray’s Inn Road, London. Fourteen years, later the same philosophy still lies behind the service we offer: Tedium par Excellence! You’ll discover if you and your colleagues decide to use our service that there’s no compromise when it comes to training the mind to concentrate. If you’re bold enough or daring enough to put yourself and your mind through the dull, tedious, monotonous EnvironMENTAL Training™ games, drills and exercises as prescribed, then you’re well on your way to self-mastery and conquering that nauseating feeling of boredom.

We’re booked up for the remainder of this week, but can pay a visit to your office next Tuesday. Why not drop us a line on Monday. In the meantime doing these exercises every day should give you and the other partners an idea of what EnvironMENTAL Training™ is all about.

All the best.

Yours sincerely,

Chuka Okonkwo & Dubem Okonkwo (The Tw↑ns)

Env↑ronMENTAL Training Agents

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The Tw↑ns: Env↑ronMENTAL Training Graduate Special: The Importance of Not Being A Perfectionist/The perfect CV isn’t necessary/required./ The perfectionist CV is totally unnecessary. A successful Architecture career is more than having the perfect CV.

Posted on August 10, 2019 by thetwinsenvironmentaltraining

Dear Architect Graduate,

Are you able to provide us with the contact details of the Japanese structural engineer who was at your sister’s tea party the other Sunday? He asked us to find as many copies of Pevsner Architectural Guides as we could for him. We’re happy to write that a client whose cousin is a book dealer has several first editions. Twenty-three or twenty-five at last count. We’ve asked him if he could put them aside and he’s agreed.

Many thanks for sending us your portfolio and CV. We were impressed with both, especially your CV which is simple and clear. Glad to see you avoided the ridiculous hyperbole that ruins many CV’s and tends to cast doubt on the skill or efficiency of too many applicants.

May we make two suggestions regarding the layout of the ‘About Me’ section? They’re merely suggestions, so don’t feel you have to follow them. Leaving things unchanged won’t affect your CV.

(1) We think ‘that I’m a perfectionist’* should be omitted entirely from your vocabulary; it’s not necessary. We encountered the phrase more than eleven times in your CV. If you must use the phrase, why not substitute it with another phrase like, ‘my attention to detail’? Even that shouldn’t be overused; it will make you sound boastful, and confident as you should sound, the last thing you wish to appear is arrogant or conceited.

(2) Re-arrange the second paragraph of the ‘About Me’ section:

Currently looking for a full time job as a Part 1 Architectural Assistant. I am responsible, organized and happy to work in an office environment. My enthusiasm and attention to detail allows me to perform well at any task.

Have you seen Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest? This is what the wittiest playwright of the Victorian era has to say about being perfect.

Jack. You’re quite perfect, Miss Fairfax.

Gwendolen. Oh! I hope I am not that. It would leave no room for developments, and I intend to develop in many directions.

Oscar Wilde’s ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’ (Audio)

https://youtu.be/5KM5f5S2BPs

Oscar Wilde’s ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’ (Text)

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/844/844-h/844-h.htm

We’re expecting to have a meeting with an architect we know very soon; we don’t know exactly when, but as soon as we’ve received confirmation, we’ll let you know. We know he’s looking for talented architect graduates to train; we think you’ll make a splendid candidate. As with all things in life, we’re not promising the meeting will lead to anything, but it’s worth a try.

One of the problems with your chosen profession is that many architecture practices seem reluctant to give young architects a chance. This is not the case in the engineering profession. There, a recent graduate can find themselves in a large firm working on a big project.

Please keep up your languages and continue improving your French, Spanish and Italian. In all professions a linguist is always welcome and in demand.

Below is the book we mentioned:

The Country Life Pocket Guide to English Domestic Architecture

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Country-pocket-English-domestic-architecture/dp/B0000CNGWX

This is another book we highly recommend:

Elements of Style: Encyclopedia of Domestic Architectural Detail

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Elements-Style-Encyclopedia-Domestic-Architectural/dp/184533695X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1361661919&sr=1-1#reader_184533695X

This isn’t a recommendation – just a query. Were you reading this book the day we met?

How to Read Buildings: A Crash Course in Architecture

http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Read-Buildings-Course-Architecture/dp/0713686723/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1361661448&sr=1-2

Having looked at your CV which lists your skills and abilities, we have a number of ideas which you can use to make a name for yourself, and if followed conscientiously, some money even as you’re applying to prospective firms for a position. By combining your proficiency in Art & Design with your technical ability and proficiency in languages, you can introduce the layman and young people to the beauty and wonder of architecture? You could easily design miniature or 3D models of the interior and exterior of famous buildings to enrich their minds. Your knowledge of languages should allow you to write and speak on architecture, bringing this craft to the attention of a wider audience; one that will relish learning about a subject or topic they know little about.

A majority of the public have a superficial knowledge of architecture, so architects need to engage with them and explain the meaning of buildings in a way that encourages them to pay more attention to the structures in their neighbourhood – instead of just looking at them superficially, or simply in amazement or disgust. With what we’re proposing, your audience will be able to discuss the Doric or Ionic order, or the difference between Baroque and early Georgian buildings as easily they discuss the best or worst teams in the English Premier League. You may find our idea daunting at first, but if you sit down and give it proper thought, you’ll see that the challenge isn’t that difficult.

If any of the above appeals to you or sounds interesting, let’s meet up for a chat when you’re free and we’ll explain in more detail the ideas we have in mind.

All the best.

Yours sincerely,

Chuka Okonkwo & Dubem Okonkwo (The Tw↑ns)

Env↑ronMENTAL Training Agents

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

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